Building a new career - why?

Construction zone. Photo by Ralph

Building my future is imperative, says I. Yet, attention as to what move to make is harder to ascertain. Perhaps I need to review the positives of the part-time position I hold. I am a Transition Coordinator (TC), working for a (non-profit) contractor to the state. I am to help people transition from nursing homes by setting up transition teams to work all the issues. 

Click to enlarge

To make sense of it, I am posting the formal job description (above). Admittedly, I have been unable to achieve the transition goals stated - given that I work 18 hours, the goals may not be achievable. 


What is not said anywhere in the description is the the TC really has most of the responsibilities - but zero real-world authority. Too many anecdotes to list in one post, but should any other party (state social workers, nursing facility personnel, other care plan agencies and state workers) fail, the TC is the point person for those failures. 


Working in the jet engine machined parts business in the past, all parts were carefully engineered to avoid a single point of failure. As a TC, I am considered that single point. (Never did I consider that similar design flaws existed between the aerospace and non-profit business models...)


I will be involved in a discharge tomorrow, Sept. 8, 14 and 27. To be involved in helping people being discharged from nursing facilities (places I do not care for much) can have its own rewards. I like the consumers for the most part, but the other players so often erode any satisfaction there may be.


Am I being negative? There is a probability of that. However, I am thinking beyond this position. I would be happier if all the players had the same sense of urgency about the discharge as the TC’s in this state all do. And they really do - alone, it seems.


I have to make a change!

Long term planning - sort of

In my part-time position I work as a transition coordinator to assist persons being discharged from nursing homes. Basically I have to keep all the disparate elements focused on the goal of the discharge - be they state personnel, facility personnel and so on.

Emphasis needed. Photo by Patti

Today I was swamped with one woman who must be discharged on September 8. Busy afternoon, after about 15 different e-mails in regards to this case. I guess I haven’t been thinking about my transition today, as time to think (straight) was in short supply. So the thinking is going like this - I like the consumers that I have been assigned, the process and I differ as to what is effective vs. the process that exists...




I think that I have a sense that payment terms from the state to their contractors may be delayed due to the budget deficit issues in the state I live in. So payments may slow substantially - would my break occur if operating cash at my employer runs low. Therefore, my long term goals remain as before, my smarts to lead the way. Or at least I hope so... 

Indecision should be harder than making a decision

The title seems perfectly true - however, the inverse is often the reality. It is Sunday, and I need to go to the office and visit a consumer tomorrow. I want to break away, but as I dither, nothing has yet been decided on the October 1 by any party. I said I would reconsider, and I did. I really want to move out of the project that funds my part-time position. I would have no problem with being a part of this non-profit, although I know that there is probably no funding source for anything else.

Ah, guilt shows up on occasion, too. Co-workers would have to take up the slack, and consumers I have would have to be reassigned to others. Would I be running out on co-workers irresponsibly? Naturally, it is a selfish move, but is that bad?? What about me, should I be preeminent in my moves, or accede to other people and entities? 

Do I hit the ball hard and miss the hole, or hit it softly and not make it? Likewise, should I stay (the easier course) or move on (fraught with some peril)? Photo by Cam  

I need to contact the one who (sort of) rejected my resignation - and we have to make decisions. I need to make the first move, as I do not want to keep hanging on without making a decision on my future...

Driving a wedge?

I missed a couple of days, my part-time job requiring a bit of actual busy work, that took up blogging time :>(

Much of this time was spent driving to various sites in a far-flung territory. I am working with consumers in the Connecticut towns/cities of Middletown (40 miles from home and/or the office) and Norwalk (30 miles fro each) in some of the toughest traffic on earth, I-95 and the Merritt Parkway. It’s not that I am adverse to driving per se, but I have amassed 6,000 miles on my 2008 Grand Caravan wheelchair van since March. Even if the work miles are reimbursed, this van has to last at least as my previous Ford, which was donated to a non-profit with twelve years and 158,000 miles. I do not wish to wear out this vehicle at a 15K per year

The (unnamed) governmental entity I work with makes it hard to understand how anything gets done on that level. If (unnamed) personnel are to be at an important meeting, sometimes the meeting may have to be postponed because their local office doesn’t have a state car available to make the trip. No car available? Surely not their own…I wouldn’t mind having a company car with other entities (taxpayers) are paying me to drive. I utilize my employer’s general liability when on the job. I thought everyone else did.

No state car available. Important people missing events because no car is available? That is irritating.

Not to knock government, but it seems that process matters most - not necessarily outcomes. Perhaps not in reality, but appearances speak quite loudly…

Spam to the left, spam to the right

The search continues. Photo by Patti

I recently created an ad on craigslist for a position wanted for myself. Interestingly, I received the following reply, which is spam. Why I chose not to continue is the syntax, as the structure and text is not American English. But where from: India? Bahamas? Jamaica? Or perhaps the place of Mass scams, Nigeria. I see many oddities, can anyone else?

ATTN: Sequel to your resume on (Craigslist.org),your resume have been reviewed by our company (------ ---- Inc) and our hiring officer will like to conduct an online interview with you to discuss more about the Job Position that you are yet to occupy. Set Up a Screen name with the Yahoo Instant Messenger or if you have a yahoo or msn or hotmail, you can use it and add up Mrs Mcjenny Mayne:  On Comprehensive online training shall be provided as this is work from home.

I am not used to adding up anybody, and the name of the contact? Thanks, but no thanks…Opportunities exist, and in general I like craigslist, but really, I don't speak their style of English, and thus will skip the reply...

Confusion reigns

Went to dinner with colleagues last night. The ambience was cloudy with a cool humidity  permeating the outdoor restaurant seating just above the waterline. Arrived early with one co-worker who was (unofficially) aware of my plans. He asked what the boss said, and I noted that he folded up the letter and said we need to talk about this later. So, had I changed my mind?

I said maybe, perhaps I’ll count to ten again. I had to speak candidly with supervision. So after food and fun conversation last night, I am looking at the possible options. Could I work at this position as a contractor, working for a 1099 at no more that 20 hours per week, while looking for income sources for more hours? I am intrigued that perhaps I could slightly disassociate my feelings about (unnamed) by working more for myself with less emotional attachment to one employer

Pulled every which way (simultaneously)

Monday, I remained ambivalent about giving my supervisor the letter of resignation. But after an exhausting Monday getting ready for the site-review on Tuesday by the (unnamed) unit of the (unnamed) state agency, I kept busy until a slight from one of the (unnamed) units lit the fuse. I would, and did present the letter to my boss. 

This is from 1996 when my first van had to be towed 58 miles away for a major fix to the adaptive equipment such as the lift and wiring issues. It was a helpless feeling to see it get towed away, and have no egress to the outside world for a week. I am not feeling helpless these days. Photo by Patti


He said that he wouldn’t accept this, as there may be other opportunities at the non-profit (I do not know where) and we need to discuss after the audit. I though that he was giving me the the chance to count to ten again, the proverbial ‘time out’. So I am glad to have made a decision, but have no idea what is to occur next.

Speaking of the review, we were told to prepare for a time of 11:00 - 1:00, so I made an appointment for 3:00 at a place about 40 minutes from our office, with at least ten minutes to find a parking place for my wheelchair van at that facility, and another five minutes to transfer from the special driver’ seat into my wheelchair. I figured that I had enough time. 


The site-review person arrived at 1:45. I could only gather the files to be reviewed, give to my boss and leave for my appointment. Apparently this person had a site-review at another nearby contractor, and ran late. (Not that a real schedule might be made and adhered to). Things happen, but I made my work appointment based on the state agency to be on time. Sheesh...

I await the future not with trepidation nor with dread. I would like to decouple from my particular position and (unnamed), but do see a fine future whichever way things go...

Note: I prefer to not name names, so am keeping the agencies and personnel anonymous. I know at least five people who if they read my blog (the blog being unannounced to my colleagues), would recognize the narrative. Discretion the better part of valor, and so on...

Which yeollw brick road should I take?

Tomorrow is the site-review by (unnamed), an audit of their contractors on the project I and my colleagues are involved with. Certainly I was focused today on checking and updating consumer files. Not that I don’t expect fault to be found - when you are working with other people’s money, they rightfully expect to verify.

Although I am concerned that this audit is, say, about nine months behind when it ought to have been held. If any others who work in the same capacity for other contractors have been doing things incorrectly, there is a year’s worth of error. Horrors, unless this audit at this time is designed to find fault? 

(I hate conspiracy theories where unrelated events line up so neatly to prove a conspiracy so perfectly. I ought to think this over a little bit. Of course, in an era of huge budget deficits on a state level, some costs may have to be reduced, and contracting expenses may have to be).

But not to digress. I did get a supervisory review, and it was generally favorable. The only brickbat was my case notes. The term minimalist shows up, and we had this philosophical discussion a couple of weeks ago. I suppose my background in for-profit businesses prompted me to write case notes using formats and bullets, trying to get to the point. Alas, it seems in the world of non-profits, stuffy narratives are the norm. No doubt a function of my past, I like bullets to get to the point - not read until word 300 what the point of this case/service note was...

I hadn’t considered that.

I may be afforded the opportunity to move on at someone’s request. Or my own. The path to take is out there. Can I decide the correct path to take? 

What to do...continued

I was hoping to not work with the resignation for the rest of the weekend, but...I was looking at the compensation I feel I am owed. And looking closely at the employer's policies and procedures manual online. I had originally intended to look at chapter and verse of the issues such as unused and accrued vacation time, bonuses (as I received last year), etc.


I started to read further though. It seems that many procedures weren't followed to the letter on the company end, such as performance reviews. I know that we have to provide services with substantially less funding and thus a lesser staff and there are only 24 hours (max) per day, and things have to move fast. But there are administrative things that we all have to adhere to...


It was an eye-opener to become familiar with the policies that all have to adhere to...I like the organization, and the people - procedure must be followed, and I feel that it really hasn't. So I am torn about the idea of staying vs. leaving - and the easiest course would be if the job were defunded, leaving the decision for someone else. The easy course of action is for someone else to make the move for me - probably not the actual case, I am afraid...

Either or Both Ways

As I noted yesterday, I have written the proposed letter of resignation. I have even run the numbers of what I feel that I am actually owed in unrealized compensation at the end of my employ (that would be if my position were eliminated or I leave on my own). The look at the facts, my employ as it relates to the facts and so almost gives an air of guilt - what about the remaining consumers and how that could increase my co-workers workload is troubling. I have laid out reasons why I ought to consider a move. The things that could be problematical to my conscience stand out in my prose. It was not negative in the abstract of working with the (unnamed) state agency, but more positive in my wanting to search for opportunity for myself. Two ways of going, either fraught with the unknown.

All in all, a therapeutic process that I will now ignore for the rest of the weekend...

Day of reckoning - or not

I nearly did it yesterday - I nearly decided to terminate myself after a certain date. The thinking was October 1, a Friday would be a fine ending to this position that doesn't seem suited to my temperament. 

I would prepare a letter and announce my resignation effective Friday 1 October. It seemed straightforward, and simple. Beyond that date I could be a contractor for myself instead of working for a contractor for the (unnamed) government entity.


As the day wore on, my strategy shifted. When I am gone, some of my workload would be shifted to others, which leaves me a little uncomfortable - what would I think if my workload increased by 15% for no additional compensation?


(A fine time for my conscience to be placed in gear)


Now I will compose that letter but keep it loaded on the laptop. The date and time of my ouster, voluntary or not, remain a mystery. Yet, I have it in my mind that change is in the air. Who makes the first move is the question

Symbiotic Relationship

The look of love is not there - I do not wish to continue in my present position for one day longer than necessary. 


Yes, I am working on consumer cases that should be completed no later than 15 September. I like (most of) the consumers, but have had it with most of the personnel of the (unnamed) state agency that provides the funding for me.


It seems to be a symbiotic relationship - I am not working well with them and they seem to have it in for me. There is an audit and site review on Tuesday, and I expect (unnamed) to have big issues with my methodology of keeping electronic records - which is B.S., but hey - the (unnamed) is paying the bills, and their opinion will matter most, factual or otherwise.


Yet, this is not a complaint - the events are compelling me to consider all my options, and perhaps I have more than fewer options than I think. as to income. My organization requests four weeks notice for leaving the position, and that is fair. Do I have the courage to make the switch? Of course, my position could be axed, too, which is the simplest solution for me... 

The downside is that I probably would be cutting most ties to the non-profit I work for. I have a past with them, being a board member as Secretary/Treasurer (1998-2001) and President (2001-2004). I like the employees, and hate to lose that. 


So the confusion is thus: Do I give up on the past by choice (and move ahead into an uncertain future), or wait for the likely and have the position defunded (while also moving out into that uncertain future). Courage is easy to grasp as a concept, but harder to implement...

The minimum vs. the unlimited

The world of my disability can be a frustrating one. Not for the usual items of wheelchair access, etc. That is the norm, and expected (really). 

 

Instead, it is the oddities of income vs. benefits. I receive SSDI (Social Security Disability Income). You can make only a certain amount of money after my (part-time) minus approved impairment related work expenses (IWRE). I won’t state the amounts, but both are pretty low. So I currently work 18 hours per week, which in base income is higher than allowed but with allowable commuting expenses, prescriptions, wheelchair repairs and so on.

Yet as I contemplate a change in sources of income, I have the conundrum many others have: do I limit my horizons and live on less or dream big.

If my current job ended today, to meet the total compensation (work + SSDI) I currently enjoy (?), I really only need to earn a modest amount. The small sum makes the idea of a move more appealing. Yet, could I use the abilities I have to expand into larger sums that may be possible and forego the SSDI completely?

How much is too much – or not enough? Disabilities force one to dance differently. I should be able to work for myself if a little bit is what I need at a minimum. But to think and dream big requires me to start smaller and work up from there. Right?

The past as prologue

What is it that compels me to want to establish employ on my own? Is it that I feel that I often know far more about many things than many of my employers or contemporaries? Or could it be hereditary? The last may be a stretch, or maybe not…

I suppose that the urge to at least attempt comes from my namesake, Grandpa. I have extensively written about the Sage of Steubenville (1902-1981), and his history is still instructive. Where eighth-grade was the norm growing up in his West Virginia

An iconoclast, he never fit the mold of an employee from the Ohio River valley from Pittsburgh to the panhandle of WV to Jefferson County Ohio. That would have been in a coal mine or in a steel mill in the pre-OSHA days. His father was in fact killed in a mill accident, which could have helped push him away from that. He decided his fate was in police/fire radios.

Grandma had been to a business school, and offered to help him in passing the test for his radio license, which he failed twice. Grandpa refused any help, preferring to study and learn and make it happen on his own. The third time was the charm in 1934.

Leasing radios to the agencies was unique in the day, but common now. He was well known for his integrity, his work ethic and his personality. His territory was extensive, In Ohio:  Steubenville, Jefferson County, Wintersville, Brilliant, Martins Ferry, Wellsville, Carrolton. In West Virginia: Brooke County, Weirton, Follansbee and Wellsburg

Can-do is a good descriptor, and he sold off the final piece of his business in 1978.  Obviously, tube radios were being replaced by solid-state electronics. But his customer list was important, his honor and customer service having a large residual value…

Okay, I am not the gentleman as described – yet, his background and instincts could have been passed down? My using a wheelchair often sets potential employers on edge. Okay then, it is my intellect (and courage) that needs to take over...How do I broadcast me??